​My Walls Came Down

 

Have you ever felt like your walls were torn down and you were left completely exposed, stripped bare?

​Well, this text happens to be the exact answer to that question for me.

​My family members are deeply religious people who fulfill their duties to the best of their abilities. Naturally, my siblings and I were raised the same way. If you ask what it gave me, the concept of morality was the most successful among them. Even though I couldn’t fully fulfill what the Quran asked of us, my life was passing by, for better or worse. That was until I became a mother, and it all began with my desire not to let my daughter drown in the same dilemmas and error-filled world I had fallen into. Especially nowadays, when religion has fallen into the hands of suit-wearing mortals trying to exploit people. For these reasons, I took my first step for my daughter and began reading philosophy of religion. My first step was to read and try to comprehend the translation—the Turkish meaning—of the Holy Quran, whose Arabic text I had been reading and even completing (khatm) for years. However, its content was an infinite universe, and I began to feel increasingly lost and broken within this world.

​Reading is a beautiful thing, but when reading turns into researching, taking notes, and consulting different sources, that is when it transforms into an illness. So, what was it that made me feel so exposed during this process?

​As I read, I also began reading the lives of the prophets mentioned in the text. That way, everything made more sense in my head. However, I kept researching the truth behind every piece of information I learned. Then I picked up such a book that, after that moment, everything changed.

​“KING OF THE WORLD SOLOMON”

​The book tells the story of Prophet Solomon. Actually, it would be better to say it talks about the path leading to his life. On its very first page, it greets you with a passage from the Torah: “In the beginning... God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.” Then the story begins with Adam, the first prophet of mortals...

​In the Holy Quran, Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 30 states: “And [remember] when your Lord said to the angels, 'I will create a vicegerent on earth.' They said, 'Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we declare Your praise and sanctify You?' Allah said, 'Indeed, I know that which you do not know.'” This dialogue between the Lord and the angels seems to prove that Adam was not the first human, but the first prophet of humans. Of course, it also vividly expresses what terrible beings we humans are for the earth. After this widely known piece of knowledge, Adam is created. Eve, his spouse, is created from his rib, and both live in Paradise. There is only one rule: they must not eat the fruit of the forbidden tree. However, because Satan refused to bow before Adam, he deceives him into eating the fruit from the forbidden tree. The Lord then sends Adam and his spouse to Earth, commanding them to stay there and multiply until the Day of Judgment. According to legend, Adam was sent to "India" and Eve to "Jeddah." Meeting in Mecca al-Mukarramah after landing in different parts of the world, their seeds spread rapidly. Not satisfied with what he did in Paradise, Satan did not leave them alone on Earth either, and the first fratricide in history was committed. In Surah Al-Ma'idah, Verses 27–30: “And recite to them the story of Adam's two sons, in truth, when they both offered a sacrifice [to Allah], and it was accepted from one of them but not from the other. Said [the latter], 'I will surely kill you.' Said [the former], 'Indeed, Allah only accepts from the righteous [who fear Him]. If you should raise your hand against me to kill me, I shall not raise my hand against you to kill you. Indeed, I fear Allah, Lord of the worlds. Indeed I want you to obtain [thereby] my sin and your sin and be among the companions of the Fire. And that is the recompense of wrongdoers.' And his soul permitted to him the murder of his brother, so he killed him and became one of the losers.” Thus, Cain kills Abel. According to another legend, Eve gave birth to a twin boy and girl in every delivery. It was forbidden for these twins to marry each other. Cain wanted to marry his own twin instead of the one meant for Abel, which is why they offered sacrifices to the Lord. Well, what happened to Cain remains unknown... but what if another legend is brought forward? What happens to things then?

​Now, the book by Serhat Ahmet Tan that I read offered a different perspective through an esoteric and gnostic approach—not only opening a new window for me but making me feel as if all my walls had crumbled.

​According to the book, Adam is a project living in Paradise. As I understand it, he is a piece of software in the preparation phase, designed to grasp the finest human traits and prophetic qualities. Satan does not support this project at all and does everything in his power to destroy Adam. There is only one rule in Paradise: “Never mate with other species.” The Lord specifically warned Adam about this rule. Satan goes to Adam and says: “Look, Adam, you are merely a project, and it is uncertain whether your lineage will be permanent. Come, let us merge our lineages. My lineage has existed since eternity. I have a proven essence. If you merge with my lineage and produce hybrids, your lineage can become permanent too. Otherwise, it is not yet clear whether you will succeed...” Adam finds a plausible reason in what Satan says, violates the only prohibition in Paradise, and hybrid children are born. In fact, right at this point, it reveals why the name Lilith is mentioned nowadays. We could flip through pages for Lilith too, as she holds an important place. Anyway, returning to the book: the Lord learns of this situation and gets very angry—well, He has to be angry, right? If He were to destroy Adam at that moment, Satan would get what he wanted, but He doesn't do that. Doing something Satan never expected, He sends them all to Earth. He tells Adam to multiply on Earth. So, what was forbidden in Paradise becomes lawful on Earth. As for what happened to the hybrids, according to the book, they are the ancestors of today's Israelites.

​Now everything falls into place so clearly in my mind. Why He sent four holy books to subdue the Israelites, why He sent prophets to each of them—which, the concept of prophethood itself is strange too, but I'll write about that in another post. When I read these and pass them through my filter alongside other knowledge I've gathered, I feel stripped completely bare. We are abandoned mortals or hybrids on Earth, belonging to a corrupted project, kept alive merely so Satan wouldn't get his way. And it will go on like this until the Day of Judgment.

​So, which side will you be on on the Day of Judgment? On the side of Satan, who caused the project to fail, or on the side of the Lord, who established a new order just so Satan wouldn't win despite the project being ruined? It might surprise you, but I don't want to be on either side—because no matter what, I am merely the remains of a corrupted project...

​Goodbye...